Someone recently asked me what's the hardest thing about living away from your own country - especially a third world country.
When they asked, I thought, honestly the hardest thing has nothing to do with whether you are in a third world country - I think it would be the same thing wherever you are in a different culture to your own.
You see the hardest thing for me is being away from my family and friends..... and the way that changes relationships.
Many years ago, before I ever lived in Uganda, when the dream of working in Africa one day was still just that.... a dream, a missionary lady sat across from me and shared with me what her greatest challenge had been working in another culture.
I thought she was going to tell me about the different food, or the different cultural expectations or the language or something.
But she in fact shared how it was the fact that the friendships she left behind changed.
She said that was the greatest sacrifice she made being a missionary.
She talked about how while living in another land, all her Australian friends, while still keeping in contact and still 'friends', they found new close friends.... they didn't 'need' her friendship anymore.
While for her she needed it more than ever.
Here she was living in a foreign country, experiencing so many various things, some good, some not so good.....struggling with food differences, and cultural differences and language barriers - and what she needed was her friends.
She said that while she gained new friends in the African country she was working in, it wasn't the same as her friends at home... because they 'knew her' ..... they knew her culture and background, they understood the way she thought, and friendship meant the same thing to her.
She realised that making new friends in a foreign culture, was extremely difficult and also took a lot of time, and even then it looked different to the friendships at home, culturally you just don't talk about 'some' things, even with your friends.
That's why she needed her Australian friends even more than ever before.
But life gets busy and her Australian friends moved on to find new 'best' friends, and she found she was now on the outer, even with life long friends.
I can very clearly remember this conversation, but I don't think at the time I could have understood what she meant. I know I didn't understand what she meant.
The thing is, family is family.... my relationship with them hasn't changed and doesn't change.
But with friends, I understand what she means now.
While I do hear from some every now and then, its SO NOT THE SAME as when I'm home in Australia - I know their lives are busy and they have LOTS of other friends to rely on now..... but for me... I still need them.
When the young guy asked me this week what the hardest thing was.... honestly I didn't give him this answer, I knew I'd get too emotional talking about it; but as I gave him some generic answer about cultural expectations etc, the conversation with that lady from all those years ago came flooding back and I realised just what really is the hardest thing.
The changing face of relationships and friendships sacrificed. ( and the fact I needed to write about it to help process it :)
Yep relationships change anyways, friendships change even when you live a few minutes down the road from each other, I know that too.... some are just for a season.... but its super hard when you need that friendship more than ever.
Especially when living in a society where friendship looks a lot different from what you are use to.
I am very thankful that I am starting to make friends here after 5 years, but I'm still learning what friendships look like here and it takes time, when you add in cultural and language differences. So I still need those friendships with my friends from my 'other' home.
So I encourage you - value your friendships... make time for people..... cherish them .... and if you have a friend living in a foreign country, whether working as a missionary, or whether they moved for work or even if they married the love of their life and moved to another land.... check in on them... they still need you.
Our love, our faith, our different worlds, all our adventures from Australia to Africa
Saturday, August 25, 2018
Monday, July 9, 2018
The beauty of living month to month
Its been quite some time since I've sat down to write a blog.
To say we have been busy is an understatement.
Our whole team have been very busy the last 7 months as we've set up our new facility and set up so many new programs.
But the last two months have been in particular a very busy time.
There is so many things I could write about in this blog that we've been learning, or the joys we've faced or the challenges.
But today I want to write about a lesson that has been difficult to learn in many ways - but that is also proving to be a beautiful lesson.
And its something I'm writing about mostly for myself so I can try and sort through the lessons I've been learning.
I've titled this blog - The Beauty of Living Month to Month.
(Now I will speak in a month to month because here in Uganda bills are paid by the month, as are wages)
Strange title I know - but one I hope you will understand more by the end of the blog.
I was raised in a society that holds the belief that living week to week or month to month is a deeply negative thing.
And boy am I noticing on how deep that belief runs through my own values and priorities.
And I do understand where this belief comes from as we are a nation or a society that sees our financial status or future totally dependent on what 'we' do.
That belief is VERY different here in Uganda.
But before I talk more on that let me start by saying that if I am honest - I have in the past struggled with the weight of the responsibility of people donating money to help us help people here.
Rob and I are so humbled by the fact that people believe in us and the dream and the mission we have here and are willing to spend their hard earned money in helping us to see lives changed.
We do not take the responsibility lightly. And if I'm honest it is a responsibility that has kept me awake many nights.
We just want to spend it well and be good stewards of what God gives us through other people all over the world.
But its also the responsibility of having so many people here reliant on us now - all our employees but now all the families we work with and support.
Knowing that the programs are reliant on the small finances that come in to continue to run and change lives.
While we have a wonderful group of supporters and their money is making a difference - the needs are great.
Every month the needs increase - or maybe its that every month our eyes are opened even more to the needs around us and ways we could be helping - so then the need for more finances increase.
It is incredibly easy to get stuck in the worry chair..... I often think of the saying - worry is like a rocking chair.... it gives you something to do - but gets you no where.
And how true this has been for me earlier in the year.
I hate to admit how many sleepless nights I have had or how many hours every day I would spend worrying about finances.
Rob and I as a couple and now as a family have seen God come through in amazing ways for us in the 5 years we have been married.
I was honestly not prepared for the responsibility of marrying a man who is 'head' of his family.
And could not have understood the amount of people who would come to us and look to us for financial support, from within his family and friends.
And yet even with the large portions of times when we have gone without any wage due to Rob's wage not coming through on time from the government or his employers or due to us being in Australia having our boys etc - God has always provided and come through for us. Often in very unexpected ways.
So when I think about how much I worried about the ministry finances it does seem ridiculous when I've seen God do miracles for us as a family so many times.
I should have looked to the example of my husband more who does not worry but gives his cares to God. He says he has seen God come through for him from the time his parents died - often at the last minute but always in ways that was right to the situation he was in ( school fees paid unexpectedly, scholarships out of the blue, random strangers paying for school supplies etc) - that he knows now that God can be trustworthy.
We have always said that this is God's work - and we have had that spoken to us so many times over the years - that we did not need to worry about finances because this was God's work and God would provide.
It seems I'm a slow learner!
I wish I was more like my Ugandan family and friends, who trust God and don't seem to lose faith as easily or as quickly as I do.
Back in April as I was sitting down and going through our sponsors and putting data into our computer system - it struck me that we had had no new sponsors since mid 2017.
I thought - can this really be right? I knew that our budget was probably 5 times what it was in mid 2017 - so could it really be right that we'd gained no new regular sponsors since then.
I re-checked my data and that was correct.
We'd had many one off donations etc but no one had come on board as a monthly donor.
This caused me to stop and think..... I went back through our income and could see that overall our income was still roughly the same.
And yet I could also see and knew that our budget has grown considerably. We had 4 new ministries - with more than 8 new employees plus new volunteers who we helped with transport- we had our new facility in the slums and also a new office that we were renting.
As I looked it was clear that every month various donations would come in - sometimes from people I didn't even know or that were anonymous that would stretch our budget to cover everything we needed.
At the start of every month since December I have looked at the expenses coming up and have worried and prayed for provision. Often saying to Rob " I have no idea how we are going to cover this month's budget" - speaking in relation to what I know our income is from our regular donors.
And yet when I looked back I knew that we had never missed a rents payment, electricity and water was always paid on time, we had never paid our workers late, we had never had to miss from feeding the families we work with in the slums, we'd never had to put a project on hold for a few days or weeks while we waited for more finances.
In fact every time we'd needed to purchase more supplies, or pay for renovations or help a sick family in the community or meet an unexpected need - the resources were there.
Sometimes in response to us putting out what we were praying for - but often without us even voicing the need.
As I continued to go through the data and sat with Rob and went back through all the things we had done each month this year - we were both in awe of God and of how He has been providing.
We of course would celebrate and be grateful every time a need was met - but we had been so busy we hadn't stopped and stepped back to see just how many times this was happening!
Where we are now compared to 2017 is unbelievable!
Sadly being the slow learner that I am - I still seemed to get caught in to the worry trap again for a few more weeks - but in May while realising that our needs were going to be increasing greatly with the beginning of skills training - and realising the expense of setting the skills training up - I said in amongst some tears...
"God I am so tired of being worried about finances... I'm tired of living month to month.... I'm just sick of spending everything that comes in and not having anything to for the next month. I'm finding this so exhausting and no one seems to understand....I know you provide...and I know every month we've made it through... but I'm tired of JUST making it through.. I just don't want to live month to month"......
Now I was hoping God would say - "oh my child I am so sorry, here's a new sponsor who will donate $10,000 each month" .... haha..... but instead God rebuked me.
And I felt him say instead that I was missing the beauty of this season. He asked me many questions.... have you ever missed paying rent.... NO.... have you ever paid your employees late... NO.... have you ever had to go without something for the ministry that was really needed, and at the time it was actually needed..... NO..... HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THAT I AM THE PROVIDER OF ALL THINGS.... OR THAT I CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE EVEN MORE THAN YOU DO...... as I sat and wiped my tears away I realised how true this was.
God was the provider - how could it be that we would get the exact amount of money needed to pay for someones school fees the day they were due without us even telling anyone..... no more - no less..... or that someone would contact us and say - we've felt led to give you some money this month for whatever you need to use it for... and it would end up being the exact amount we needed for a need that we hadn't even shared with anyone.
Only God could do this.
God went on to show me that in Australia - in MY life there.... while its hard living month to month yes... there's always back up plans....family, friends...government support... here there is nothing like that.
God is trying to get us.... but especially me... to understand that at the end of the day - it all comes from him.... and He is faithful and will come through for us.
Not necessarily to give us all our wants.... I mean there is so much we WANT to do... but He will provide everything we need.... at the time we NEED it... not when we think we do .... but when we actually do.
Think of the Israelites - God fed them with manna ( and quail too) from heaven each day when in the desert..... but God told them not to save any for the next day. If they did it was full of maggots and off the next day.
God was trying to teach them that He could and would supply their needs everyday. They didn't have to take matters in to 'their' hand and save it up, but that they could trust God to provide.
That's not saying its wrong to save.... but in this circumstance it was.... because God was trying to teach them a lesson.... to focus on today... trust me TODAY... don't worry about tomorrow... I'll supply all your needs... and He alone knows what we really need for THAT day.
Even the Lord's prayer says.... give us THIS DAY our DAILY bread..... not asking for more than we need... but for what HE KNOWS we need!
For example I would have loved to have started the skills training in January.... I thought it was the right thing to start with it at the start of the year..... but the resources weren't there.... and it obviously wasn't the right time...we just couldn't get the resources together...... but then when we set the goal of starting in July, the resources became available and we have been able to start. It was obviously His timing.
And now I need to remember that if He opened the way to start it - He will continue to provide to run it.
I am learning that instead of being worried or concerned at the beginning of each month on how we will afford all that is needed for the next few weeks - that I should take a breath - remember how many times God has shown up - and celebrate that once again we get to see God come through for us.
God showed me it wouldn't always be like this - I believe in the future many of our ministries will be self sustaining..... but that instead of looking to those times as being 'better or easier'..... I should celebrate this season we are in and learn the lesson that there is beauty in living month to month.... because I am seeing and experiencing God coming through for us like I could never have imagined.
To say we have been busy is an understatement.
Our whole team have been very busy the last 7 months as we've set up our new facility and set up so many new programs.
But the last two months have been in particular a very busy time.
There is so many things I could write about in this blog that we've been learning, or the joys we've faced or the challenges.
But today I want to write about a lesson that has been difficult to learn in many ways - but that is also proving to be a beautiful lesson.
And its something I'm writing about mostly for myself so I can try and sort through the lessons I've been learning.
I've titled this blog - The Beauty of Living Month to Month.
(Now I will speak in a month to month because here in Uganda bills are paid by the month, as are wages)
Strange title I know - but one I hope you will understand more by the end of the blog.
I was raised in a society that holds the belief that living week to week or month to month is a deeply negative thing.
And boy am I noticing on how deep that belief runs through my own values and priorities.
And I do understand where this belief comes from as we are a nation or a society that sees our financial status or future totally dependent on what 'we' do.
That belief is VERY different here in Uganda.
But before I talk more on that let me start by saying that if I am honest - I have in the past struggled with the weight of the responsibility of people donating money to help us help people here.
Rob and I are so humbled by the fact that people believe in us and the dream and the mission we have here and are willing to spend their hard earned money in helping us to see lives changed.
We do not take the responsibility lightly. And if I'm honest it is a responsibility that has kept me awake many nights.
We just want to spend it well and be good stewards of what God gives us through other people all over the world.
But its also the responsibility of having so many people here reliant on us now - all our employees but now all the families we work with and support.
Knowing that the programs are reliant on the small finances that come in to continue to run and change lives.
While we have a wonderful group of supporters and their money is making a difference - the needs are great.
Every month the needs increase - or maybe its that every month our eyes are opened even more to the needs around us and ways we could be helping - so then the need for more finances increase.
It is incredibly easy to get stuck in the worry chair..... I often think of the saying - worry is like a rocking chair.... it gives you something to do - but gets you no where.
And how true this has been for me earlier in the year.
I hate to admit how many sleepless nights I have had or how many hours every day I would spend worrying about finances.
Rob and I as a couple and now as a family have seen God come through in amazing ways for us in the 5 years we have been married.
I was honestly not prepared for the responsibility of marrying a man who is 'head' of his family.
And could not have understood the amount of people who would come to us and look to us for financial support, from within his family and friends.
And yet even with the large portions of times when we have gone without any wage due to Rob's wage not coming through on time from the government or his employers or due to us being in Australia having our boys etc - God has always provided and come through for us. Often in very unexpected ways.
So when I think about how much I worried about the ministry finances it does seem ridiculous when I've seen God do miracles for us as a family so many times.
I should have looked to the example of my husband more who does not worry but gives his cares to God. He says he has seen God come through for him from the time his parents died - often at the last minute but always in ways that was right to the situation he was in ( school fees paid unexpectedly, scholarships out of the blue, random strangers paying for school supplies etc) - that he knows now that God can be trustworthy.
We have always said that this is God's work - and we have had that spoken to us so many times over the years - that we did not need to worry about finances because this was God's work and God would provide.
It seems I'm a slow learner!
I wish I was more like my Ugandan family and friends, who trust God and don't seem to lose faith as easily or as quickly as I do.
Back in April as I was sitting down and going through our sponsors and putting data into our computer system - it struck me that we had had no new sponsors since mid 2017.
I thought - can this really be right? I knew that our budget was probably 5 times what it was in mid 2017 - so could it really be right that we'd gained no new regular sponsors since then.
I re-checked my data and that was correct.
We'd had many one off donations etc but no one had come on board as a monthly donor.
This caused me to stop and think..... I went back through our income and could see that overall our income was still roughly the same.
And yet I could also see and knew that our budget has grown considerably. We had 4 new ministries - with more than 8 new employees plus new volunteers who we helped with transport- we had our new facility in the slums and also a new office that we were renting.
As I looked it was clear that every month various donations would come in - sometimes from people I didn't even know or that were anonymous that would stretch our budget to cover everything we needed.
At the start of every month since December I have looked at the expenses coming up and have worried and prayed for provision. Often saying to Rob " I have no idea how we are going to cover this month's budget" - speaking in relation to what I know our income is from our regular donors.
And yet when I looked back I knew that we had never missed a rents payment, electricity and water was always paid on time, we had never paid our workers late, we had never had to miss from feeding the families we work with in the slums, we'd never had to put a project on hold for a few days or weeks while we waited for more finances.
In fact every time we'd needed to purchase more supplies, or pay for renovations or help a sick family in the community or meet an unexpected need - the resources were there.
Sometimes in response to us putting out what we were praying for - but often without us even voicing the need.
As I continued to go through the data and sat with Rob and went back through all the things we had done each month this year - we were both in awe of God and of how He has been providing.
We of course would celebrate and be grateful every time a need was met - but we had been so busy we hadn't stopped and stepped back to see just how many times this was happening!
Where we are now compared to 2017 is unbelievable!
Sadly being the slow learner that I am - I still seemed to get caught in to the worry trap again for a few more weeks - but in May while realising that our needs were going to be increasing greatly with the beginning of skills training - and realising the expense of setting the skills training up - I said in amongst some tears...
"God I am so tired of being worried about finances... I'm tired of living month to month.... I'm just sick of spending everything that comes in and not having anything to for the next month. I'm finding this so exhausting and no one seems to understand....I know you provide...and I know every month we've made it through... but I'm tired of JUST making it through.. I just don't want to live month to month"......
Now I was hoping God would say - "oh my child I am so sorry, here's a new sponsor who will donate $10,000 each month" .... haha..... but instead God rebuked me.
And I felt him say instead that I was missing the beauty of this season. He asked me many questions.... have you ever missed paying rent.... NO.... have you ever paid your employees late... NO.... have you ever had to go without something for the ministry that was really needed, and at the time it was actually needed..... NO..... HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THAT I AM THE PROVIDER OF ALL THINGS.... OR THAT I CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE EVEN MORE THAN YOU DO...... as I sat and wiped my tears away I realised how true this was.
God was the provider - how could it be that we would get the exact amount of money needed to pay for someones school fees the day they were due without us even telling anyone..... no more - no less..... or that someone would contact us and say - we've felt led to give you some money this month for whatever you need to use it for... and it would end up being the exact amount we needed for a need that we hadn't even shared with anyone.
Only God could do this.
God went on to show me that in Australia - in MY life there.... while its hard living month to month yes... there's always back up plans....family, friends...government support... here there is nothing like that.
God is trying to get us.... but especially me... to understand that at the end of the day - it all comes from him.... and He is faithful and will come through for us.
Not necessarily to give us all our wants.... I mean there is so much we WANT to do... but He will provide everything we need.... at the time we NEED it... not when we think we do .... but when we actually do.
Think of the Israelites - God fed them with manna ( and quail too) from heaven each day when in the desert..... but God told them not to save any for the next day. If they did it was full of maggots and off the next day.
God was trying to teach them that He could and would supply their needs everyday. They didn't have to take matters in to 'their' hand and save it up, but that they could trust God to provide.
That's not saying its wrong to save.... but in this circumstance it was.... because God was trying to teach them a lesson.... to focus on today... trust me TODAY... don't worry about tomorrow... I'll supply all your needs... and He alone knows what we really need for THAT day.
Even the Lord's prayer says.... give us THIS DAY our DAILY bread..... not asking for more than we need... but for what HE KNOWS we need!
For example I would have loved to have started the skills training in January.... I thought it was the right thing to start with it at the start of the year..... but the resources weren't there.... and it obviously wasn't the right time...we just couldn't get the resources together...... but then when we set the goal of starting in July, the resources became available and we have been able to start. It was obviously His timing.
And now I need to remember that if He opened the way to start it - He will continue to provide to run it.
I am learning that instead of being worried or concerned at the beginning of each month on how we will afford all that is needed for the next few weeks - that I should take a breath - remember how many times God has shown up - and celebrate that once again we get to see God come through for us.
God showed me it wouldn't always be like this - I believe in the future many of our ministries will be self sustaining..... but that instead of looking to those times as being 'better or easier'..... I should celebrate this season we are in and learn the lesson that there is beauty in living month to month.... because I am seeing and experiencing God coming through for us like I could never have imagined.
Saturday, March 24, 2018
Self image and self worth
Almost everyday I discover something new about this beautiful country - or something is bought to my attention - that maybe I hadn't fully connected or understood before.
This has happened ALOT lately - I wish sometimes I could turn my brain off !
My latest observation is - you hardly ever hear people put themselves down here.
Like actually I don't think I have ever heard anyone do that?
I recently mentioned something about talking to our classes about low self esteem - and they gave me a funny look!
I inquired and they said - thats not a very big thing here.
The conversation ended but I continued to dwell on this - I was almost speechless as I started to realise - I had never heard people putting themselves down here.... this really floored me - especially in light of the enormous amount of friends I personally know who struggle with low self esteem - and the depression and fear and anxiety that comes from that.
I sat on my thoughts for a good few weeks, until one day in the car, Rob and the boys were singing along to a hugely popular song here in Uganda - 'I know who I am' - by Nigerian singer Sinach.
The lyrics are as follows
We are a chosen generation
We've been called forth to show His excellence
All I require for life, God has given me
And I know who I am
[2x]
I know who God says I am
What He says I am
Where He says I'm at
I know who I am
I'm walking in power,
I'm working miracles
I live a life of favor,
For I know who I am
I am holy,
I am righteous oh…
I am so rich,
I am beautiful
[2x]
I'm walking in power,
I'm working miracles
I live a life of favor,
For I know who I am
Take a look at me. I'm a wonder
It doesn't matter what you see now
Can you see His glory?
For I know who I am
Now the first time I heard this song a couple of years ago - the church here in Uganda went off - they love the song - I at the time - found it a bit hard to sing.
Not melody wise - but lyrically.
I mean I wanted to agree with it all - but I found it hard singing - I'm a wonder.... or I am beautiful .. even saying I am righteous was a bit hard - and yet scripturally ( 2 Cor 5:21) - Jesus's death allowed us to become the righteousness of God!
And also The Bible tells us that when you “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness…all these things shall be added to you”. (Matthew 6:33)
When we speak that out - God must be pleased - because its taking hold of what He suffered and died to give us.
And singing I'm a wonder or I am beautiful - is only speaking out one of the countless scriptures that tell us that we are those things because God made us. (Psalm 139 for example)
How sad that I found that so difficult - that our society has taught us (and it seeps in to the church) that we can't celebrate who God made us to be.
I love african worship because they speak out the truth - they know who they are!
Now I know I'm not the only 'westerner' to find singing some of those lines difficult - some of my Australian family when singing the song at a conference in perth said they liked the song - but singing some of the lines was hard and a bit confronting to sing!
And yet when I mentioned that to Rob and a friend here - they could not understand how anyone could have an issue singing those words.
All of these things have been going around in my mind - so when I heard the song in the car again that day - I asked Rob straight out - "do people here ever have low self esteems?" ( now obviously I'm talking in general terms) ..... and he said - "most Ugandan's wouldn't even think of thinking down about themselves."
I was amazed - and I asked..." but why.... why is it so different here compared to Australia - or any western nation that see's low self esteem as a major issue." He said - "I think its because people know who they are here."
They have a connection to God and see that even when things are tough or not going their way - its how it is - but it isn't WHO they are - they are STILL a child of God... they STILL have a purpose in this world. They know who and who's they are.
WOW!
The more I have thought on this and the more I have asked around various people, from various walks of life here in Uganda - the general consences is that low self esteem does not affect people like it does in Western countries - because of their strong faith and in knowing who they are.
Its also interesting to note, that even amongst the precious women we work with in the slums - they don't equate not being able to provide even the basic items for their children with them failing or being failures.
After I asked a mum who lives in the slum about this - she said that - while she doesn't like the circumstances they live in, or the fact that she can't provide more for her children - even things they need ( not just things they want) - she doesn't see herself as a failure or that she is failing as a parent.
I found this interesting because I can think of countless conversations with other mum friends of mine in the west, where parents feel like they are a failure or failing their kids in many ways.
That 'mummy guilt' thats always being referred to. Which I know even myself I've felt - that I'm not enough, not doing enough, not being enough, not providing enough.
All lies and rubbish - but those feelings come.
And we often consider it normal or apart of being a mother in the west??
How tragic that we allow the world and the enemy to fill our mind with lies like this!
How he must enjoys stealing our joy, stealing our self esteems, our self worth, our understanding of who's we are, and who we are.
I'm going to try and start taking a leaf out of the Ugandan manual - and celebrate WHO and WHO'S I am!
Will you join me?
This has happened ALOT lately - I wish sometimes I could turn my brain off !
My latest observation is - you hardly ever hear people put themselves down here.
Like actually I don't think I have ever heard anyone do that?
I recently mentioned something about talking to our classes about low self esteem - and they gave me a funny look!
I inquired and they said - thats not a very big thing here.
The conversation ended but I continued to dwell on this - I was almost speechless as I started to realise - I had never heard people putting themselves down here.... this really floored me - especially in light of the enormous amount of friends I personally know who struggle with low self esteem - and the depression and fear and anxiety that comes from that.
I sat on my thoughts for a good few weeks, until one day in the car, Rob and the boys were singing along to a hugely popular song here in Uganda - 'I know who I am' - by Nigerian singer Sinach.
The lyrics are as follows
We are a chosen generation
We've been called forth to show His excellence
All I require for life, God has given me
And I know who I am
[2x]
I know who God says I am
What He says I am
Where He says I'm at
I know who I am
I'm walking in power,
I'm working miracles
I live a life of favor,
For I know who I am
I am holy,
I am righteous oh…
I am so rich,
I am beautiful
[2x]
I'm walking in power,
I'm working miracles
I live a life of favor,
For I know who I am
Take a look at me. I'm a wonder
It doesn't matter what you see now
Can you see His glory?
For I know who I am
Now the first time I heard this song a couple of years ago - the church here in Uganda went off - they love the song - I at the time - found it a bit hard to sing.
Not melody wise - but lyrically.
I mean I wanted to agree with it all - but I found it hard singing - I'm a wonder.... or I am beautiful .. even saying I am righteous was a bit hard - and yet scripturally ( 2 Cor 5:21) - Jesus's death allowed us to become the righteousness of God!
And also The Bible tells us that when you “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness…all these things shall be added to you”. (Matthew 6:33)
When we speak that out - God must be pleased - because its taking hold of what He suffered and died to give us.
And singing I'm a wonder or I am beautiful - is only speaking out one of the countless scriptures that tell us that we are those things because God made us. (Psalm 139 for example)
How sad that I found that so difficult - that our society has taught us (and it seeps in to the church) that we can't celebrate who God made us to be.
I love african worship because they speak out the truth - they know who they are!
Now I know I'm not the only 'westerner' to find singing some of those lines difficult - some of my Australian family when singing the song at a conference in perth said they liked the song - but singing some of the lines was hard and a bit confronting to sing!
And yet when I mentioned that to Rob and a friend here - they could not understand how anyone could have an issue singing those words.
All of these things have been going around in my mind - so when I heard the song in the car again that day - I asked Rob straight out - "do people here ever have low self esteems?" ( now obviously I'm talking in general terms) ..... and he said - "most Ugandan's wouldn't even think of thinking down about themselves."
I was amazed - and I asked..." but why.... why is it so different here compared to Australia - or any western nation that see's low self esteem as a major issue." He said - "I think its because people know who they are here."
They have a connection to God and see that even when things are tough or not going their way - its how it is - but it isn't WHO they are - they are STILL a child of God... they STILL have a purpose in this world. They know who and who's they are.
WOW!
The more I have thought on this and the more I have asked around various people, from various walks of life here in Uganda - the general consences is that low self esteem does not affect people like it does in Western countries - because of their strong faith and in knowing who they are.
Its also interesting to note, that even amongst the precious women we work with in the slums - they don't equate not being able to provide even the basic items for their children with them failing or being failures.
After I asked a mum who lives in the slum about this - she said that - while she doesn't like the circumstances they live in, or the fact that she can't provide more for her children - even things they need ( not just things they want) - she doesn't see herself as a failure or that she is failing as a parent.
I found this interesting because I can think of countless conversations with other mum friends of mine in the west, where parents feel like they are a failure or failing their kids in many ways.
That 'mummy guilt' thats always being referred to. Which I know even myself I've felt - that I'm not enough, not doing enough, not being enough, not providing enough.
All lies and rubbish - but those feelings come.
And we often consider it normal or apart of being a mother in the west??
How tragic that we allow the world and the enemy to fill our mind with lies like this!
How he must enjoys stealing our joy, stealing our self esteems, our self worth, our understanding of who's we are, and who we are.
I'm going to try and start taking a leaf out of the Ugandan manual - and celebrate WHO and WHO'S I am!
Will you join me?
Thursday, January 18, 2018
Our new facility in the heart of the slums
I was very excited to see our new facility that we have
rented right in the heart of the slums of Katanga.
Its incredibly hard to find any place in the slums to rent –
let alone anything that is more than one room so God has really opened the way
for us to find this place and we have a wonderful landlord.
Who is an elderly lady who fully believes in what we are
doing and is excited to have us with her.
Our small compound sits right in the heart of Katanga slum
and we currently have 3 small class rooms – and one large class room.
While most of the place has been newly renovated and/or
built – we are in desperate need to finish those renovations. They were meant to be completed before the program returned this month.
Sadly though our landlords daughter over Christmas had a full term
baby born sleeping. This meant with all the medical expenses she has used her
remainder of the budget she had to complete the renovations. Which we understand.
We have been using the facility as it is – but we
desperately need to get it finished and tidied and get the toilets put in –
since each week see’s us working with 200 children!
An agreement has been made that if we can come up with the
money for the remainder of the renovations in can be completed within a week or
so and be ready for when school goes back. And then she will sub tract that off
our rent.
We currently have rented the place for one full year so then
with us covering the costs of the renovations we will get another months of
rent.
So we are looking to raise $1200 as quick as we can to finish
off the last classroom and have toilets done. We also will be concreting and
roofing in between the classrooms so the children can sit there to eat their
meal and also mean we can use the facility once the wet season arrives.
We don’t know how to raise the money that quickly – we can’t
stretch our current read for life budget any more without having to deduct from
feeding the children or letting a teacher go or something – which is obviously
not what we want to be doing.
So we are asking you to join us in praying or helping us to
fundraise for the $1200 so we can hopefully have the work completed in the next
month ready for school to start back and ready for our skills training to start
on the 1st of March.
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| Part of the compound with one classroom shown. |
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| one of our classrooms |
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| The area that needs to be concreted and roofed in between classrooms runs much longer than photo shows ( runs behind where i was standing also - this will allow us to have children sit and eat their food in this area) |
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| The largest classroom is being used but needs the floor now added and walls completed. |
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| Hezekiah ready a day early for Read for Life to start :) |
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| Our wonderful landlord and Robert discussing what needs to still be completed - she has been very gracious in allowing all the children who come to program to use her bathroom facilities and entrance gate while the work was still being done. |
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| Hezekiah and mummy checking out the facility while daddy chatted - notice he thinks I'm taking a photo - CHEESSEE |
We also have a waiting list of approximately 100 children, with more families wanting to attend all the time!
The program is growing and expanding and we are excited for this year.
Our teachers ( 4 ) who have been with us from the beginning are very excited to now be in our own facility right in the heart of the slums, where these children live. They have worked hard to grow and expand the program in my absence and we could not be more grateful for a hardworking, trustworthy team.
We have found the families to be so supportive and receptive – with many mothers making sure they actually BRING their children to the program, to ensure they get there.
We have seen so much change in not only the reading ability of the children but even the behaviour too – even their mothers and families are agreeing!
Since through a normal school week the facility is empty – as of the 1st of March we are going to be running Skills training for some of the mothers/guardians attached to the Read for Life program.
The first lot of skills training will be for approximately 20 women and run for 3 months.
This will run through the week in the morning and then in the afternoons we will be running adult literacy classes for the Read for Life parents.
Many of the families when we did a survey of Katanga slums listed 3 things as their biggest desires and needs.
- Education for their children ( READ FOR LIFE is helping to increase that)
- Skills training and jobs for parents ( Skills training will meet that)
- Literacy and English teaching for adults ( Adult Literacy will meet that need – many families have shared that even though they may have a job or a small shop or something – that they lose clients due to the fact they can’t read or write or struggle to speak a language that their client speaks – remember theres 50 different languages here!)
We are very excited to see what God does with Read for Life this year and the Skills training.
There are other dreams and goals for this year but for today that’s enough to give you an insight in to why we need to raise the money as quickly as we can so that the Read for life and skills training can have the biggest impact possible!! 😊
Thank you for your prayers and support!
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| One of the classes in action - classes are currently down in size due to christmas holidays with many children going to villages to see grandparents/family. |
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| One of the baby siblings that came this week - his brother is only 5 who was left in charge of this precious little guy. |
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| Being introduced to our newest baby class |
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| Ezrael took a liking to one of our students - and he was super sweet and good with him. |
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| Look at them looking at each other!!! He said it was first time he'd seen a 'white' baby! :) |
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
Back home together FINALLY
Well we have now been a family of 4 again for around 2 weeks - and its been the BEST!
Thought I would share a few of the adventures we've been on and the lessons I am learning again about life here in Uganda.
The flight here was LONG to say the least but overall the boys were amazing!! Honestly the hardest parts were going through security in Sydney and then again in Abu Dhabi with the two boys and all our onboard luggage.
Sydney wasn't too bad thankfully.
Saying goodbye was really hard but once we said goodbye to mum and dad my priority was keeping boys settled until on the plane - it was late about 8.30pm so boys were both tired and really ready for bed - thankfully we had an amazing lady on both the passport check and security check - then I realised the time and how the plane was already boarding ( security had taken so long I hadn't realised)
So I had to rush ( almost run) to get to the gate and there was already a massive line - after then giving the hostess our pram I had two tired kids and lots of bags - thankfully an amazing irish family offered to help and got us on to the plane and we got settled - then we were informed at we'd have to sit and wait while baggage was unloaded again etc as something had been misplaced or something or rather - so we taxied for like 1 hr 1/2 hours.
I tried to keep them awake since I didn't really want them sleeping in the time they actually needed to be in their seats but nothing was going to keep them awake and so even before take off they were both asleep!
Thankfully we'd received a bassinet so Ezrael was able to sleep about 60% of the flight in there - the other 20% he was in my arms due to turbulence and then the other 20% he was awake.
Hezekiah was amazing and slept about 11hrs of the 15hr flight. SO thankful for the purchase of plane pal inflatable leg rest - best $70 i've spent - he laid down pretty much the whole time.
I even managed to get some sleep and to eat so that was a blessing.
The hardest part was the last 2 hours where both boys were just wanted to move around.
Hezekiah was actually starting to get tired the last half hour before they said to prepare to land which was not good timing!! I needed him to be settled for landing and then getting off the plane and going through security and on to the next flight - which we'd now have to run for since we were now delayed about 2hours.
He wasn't very happy about having to pack away his tray table for landing where he was colouring in and having to sit up so started to get very upset - they turned the lights off so all he wanted was to sit on mummy's lap - but i obviously already had ezrael - so hezekiahs first major tantrum was as we decented in to Abu Dhabi - with him kicking out of the seatbelt - another lady tried helping but then gave up - not even the flight attendants bothered to get up - after a few minutes of screamig on the floor - i eventually was able to reason with him and he hopped in his seatbelt - AND THEN PROCEEDED TO FALL DEEPLY ASLEEP!!!!! And I mean deep asleep!!
GREAT....... now I have to run to get the next plane - carrying TWO KIDS?? and all the bags?? I knew this was going to be impossible...... as people got off the plane many just laughed and said goodluck or whatever - heaps of people commented at how well the boys had been the whole flight etc.... which they had up until that point.... I was starting to really pray and get a bit emotional when finally when almost the whole plane had left a lady said - can i help you - I quickly said yes and she carried all the bags while I had Ezrael strapped to me and tried to wake hezekiah while pulling him along behind me - poor thing walked for a little while - when he finally came to we were half way up to walkway off the plane - and he realised daddy wasn't there - so screamed we have to get back on the plane to get to daddy - poor thing was so heavily asleep he really didn't quite get that we had to take ANOTHER plane to get to daddy - so then he wailed for daddy the whole time i tried carrying him off the plane.
The lady helped me to get an airport pram and then she had to run - and of course I got a broken pram so had trouble pushing the pram the whole way to the next gate.
I realised we were no longer going to have 3 hours to run and play in the airport playground - but would have to RUN to get through security to get our plane before it left.
Hezekiah proceeded to scream for daddy while strapped in the pram all the way through airport - in some ways this was a blessing - when we got to security - the line was HUGE - probably would have taken an hour to get through - thankfully they heard a screaming child and ushered us through -
Still had to take hezekiah out of pram and collapse it and take ezrael out of the wrap - but unlike they usually require - they didn't even bother to make me take the liquids and baby bottles out or my electronics - I think they saw I had nothing left in me - after convincing Hezekiah to get back in the pram we ran as fast as we could to our gate - with just enough time to go the bathroom before they started boarding the plane - the boys had no time to stretch or play at all really -
But as soon as we were at the gate and saw all the Ugandans preparing to board the plane - it didn't matter - I prayed the boys would be ok on the next flight - but I realised no matter what - we only had one more 6hour flight and we'd be in Rob's arms.
I was reminded of one of the many reasons I love Ugandans - as soon as I sat down for the few minutes to wait for boarding - Hezekiah was being entertained by a Ugandan lady and Ezrael was crawling around playing peek-a-boo with a Ugandan teenage boy.
When it came time to board - multiple people offered to help us on to the plane.
The plane was so extremely quiet we had so much room and space it was great.
Once in the air - Hezekiah fell asleep and slept 4 1/2 hours of the 6 hour trip. Ezrael slept about 3 hours of it - and the majority of the rest of the time was cuddled and entertained by a Ugandan lady across from us. She watched the boys while I went to the bathroom and ate my food.
I can't express how although the Abu Dhabi part was stressful - how much I felt God's presence with me from the moment I said goodbye to my parents in Sydney till the moment we were in Rob's arms. Many people prayed before we left that God would place people in every area we needed help.
And He did - everytime I boarded the plane or got off eventually someone was there ready to help.
When it came time to land in Uganda - I told Hezekiah to look out the window - we were about to see Daddy - I don't think he still could really understand - he said " can't see daddy - daddy's in africa".... since that was the line he'd been told for almost 6 months - but finally I was able to say - we are now In Africa - and we can see daddy very soon.
I then got teary as I looked out the window at my home - the land of orange dirt and shiny tin roofs - everytime I fly in to Uganda I love seeing the way the light catches all the tin roofs on the little mut houses or the newer houses. It reminds me this is a land that has so much sparkle and joy to it - despite some of the hardships.
When we got off the plane a lovely lady helped me get off the plane and carried all our bags and then when we got off there was a lady who works at the airport asking was I leah - I said I was and she proceeded to help me get through security and through to get my bags - with her on our side we didn't have to wait in lines for any length of time.
She then had another airport worker, along with herself help me get all our HUGE 6 bags on to two trolleys and walked us out to meet Rob. ( Rob had arranged all of this for me - I have no idea how I could have physically pushed two trolleys FULL of huge bags, plus carry ezrael and push the pram on my own - so so grateful to God for this lady).
Before too long there was Rob running through the crowd of beautiful Ugandan faces to meet us.
Public displays of affection are incredibly rare here - but that didn't matter to Rob or me today. He ran to me and tried to squeeze me and pick me up but that was a bit difficult with Ezrael strapped to my front - after a kiss and tears from me - Rob looked down to see Hezekiah had jumped out of the pram and was just standing there with a look of shock on his face - like he was about to burst in to tears - and he was completely silent and then said - oh hey daddy as he literally ran and jumped in to his arms - it was so magical to see - and then when Rob turned to Ezrael he smiled and gently stroked Robs face, as he looked at me for reassurance!
I wish we could have filmed it - but Rob had made decision to come and collect us on his own so we could have family time - and I had my hands full.
But it doesn't matter - the memory is seared in to both Rob and my minds - when we walked back to the car and those who helped us had left - the four of us just held each other - finally a family of four again!
It was really the best feeling ever.
We decided since it was about 1pm that we'd go and spend afternoon at botanical gardens to give the boys a chance to run around a bit and then travel home after dinner - so that the boys didn't fall asleep on the way home in afternoon.
We eventually got home to our house about 8.30pm with both boys sound asleep and transferred well in to their new beds.
It was the best feeling walking in to our new house that Rob had found and chosen and rented for us and had set up. I was so grateful - every other time we've come back to Uganda it has meant being squeezed in to a tiny motel room for some weeks while we tried to find a house - so this time was so much better!
The next two weeks was spent just enjoying each other's company and remembering how it was to be together. The boys and I had some jetlag and took about a week - 10 days to really be settled sleep wise - but thankfully the boys only took a few bad nights and then adjusted quite quickly - Rob graciously did all the middle of the night playing while I slept.
Both boys settled quickly into the food and new languages and people around, except Ezrael struggled with diarhea from all the new foods and germs for about 2 weeks. He lost some weight but is doing well now - again Rob graciously changed 90% of the nappies to try and make up for all the one's he'd missed :)
Ezrael was amazing - for about the first 48hours he'd happily go to Rob but didn't like it if I left the room or if Rob took him somewhere away from me - but within a few days he knew it was his papa and was able to be settled and comforted and put to bed by Rob.
We spent the first 2 weeks without water in our house so the boys got use to helping us take the jerry cans out to the tank to get water for washing and bathing etc.
It didn't take Hezekiah any time to get use to the cold shower/basin baths but Ezrael was another matter. I think he's a bit more like his mama - and although I now can quite happily have a cold wash or shower - it did take me a long time to get use to them.
Thankfully he seems to be use to them now - although I'm sure like his mama he doesn't enjoy them as much as hot ones :)
We enjoyed a pretty quiet Christmas overall ( although i spent christmas day cooking from 7am - 2pm ) for us and some of Rob's siblings and friends.
We did manage to find a church that had a christmas jazz carols event, which was really great and made me feel like it was Christmas a bit more ( christmas carols aren't really sung here like in Australia).
We've enjoyed spending time at our farm and exploring the land a bit where we will have crops growing soon - the boys have especially loved that.
There is so much I have been reminded of since I've been back home - so many little things I had forgotten about life here
- I'd forgotten what is means to have no water and no electricity sometimes ( I took the power for granted so would let my phone/computer go flat forgetting that I may lose power and then not be able to charge it for a long time!)
- I'd forgotten how much i dislike dry season - dust everywhere! :)
- I'd forgotten how much I hate Ugandan traffic - ok - maybe I hadn't really forgotten but I'd forgotten the extent of it!
- I'd forgotten what its like to not be invisible! To always being stared at all of a sudden, has taken some time to get use to - as it has for the boys too. I'd forgotten how much of a fascination we are - Rob too had forgotten since, he was just a local ugandan without us here - now everyone knows him in our village since he is married to the Mzungu and has mzungu sons :)
- I'd forgotten how different our diet is here and how you have to get use to repeatetive eating.
- I'd forgotten what its like to cook on a single gas cyclinder.
- I'd forgotten how frustrating it can be with reception here sometimes and trying to get a good connection to family
- But I'd also forgotten how grateful I am for it!!
- I'd forgotten just how far Australia and family feel when you are actually here
but I hadn't forgotten the
- Kindness of people - our neighbours have all been very welcoming
- how many kids there are - everywhere - and how much they love our boys
- I'd forgotten how simple and slow life is here - and how BEAUTIFUL that is!
I'm so grateful to be back - I'm grateful for the precious gift of Ezrael that allowed us to go home to Australia and have a wonderful time with family and friends and our church at Eastlakes - and I'm grateful to God who sustained Rob and I while we were apart.
Thought I would share a few of the adventures we've been on and the lessons I am learning again about life here in Uganda.
The flight here was LONG to say the least but overall the boys were amazing!! Honestly the hardest parts were going through security in Sydney and then again in Abu Dhabi with the two boys and all our onboard luggage.
Sydney wasn't too bad thankfully.
Saying goodbye was really hard but once we said goodbye to mum and dad my priority was keeping boys settled until on the plane - it was late about 8.30pm so boys were both tired and really ready for bed - thankfully we had an amazing lady on both the passport check and security check - then I realised the time and how the plane was already boarding ( security had taken so long I hadn't realised)
So I had to rush ( almost run) to get to the gate and there was already a massive line - after then giving the hostess our pram I had two tired kids and lots of bags - thankfully an amazing irish family offered to help and got us on to the plane and we got settled - then we were informed at we'd have to sit and wait while baggage was unloaded again etc as something had been misplaced or something or rather - so we taxied for like 1 hr 1/2 hours.
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| Sound asleep even before take off |
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| Both sound alseep before take off |
Thankfully we'd received a bassinet so Ezrael was able to sleep about 60% of the flight in there - the other 20% he was in my arms due to turbulence and then the other 20% he was awake.
Hezekiah was amazing and slept about 11hrs of the 15hr flight. SO thankful for the purchase of plane pal inflatable leg rest - best $70 i've spent - he laid down pretty much the whole time.
I even managed to get some sleep and to eat so that was a blessing.
The hardest part was the last 2 hours where both boys were just wanted to move around.
Hezekiah was actually starting to get tired the last half hour before they said to prepare to land which was not good timing!! I needed him to be settled for landing and then getting off the plane and going through security and on to the next flight - which we'd now have to run for since we were now delayed about 2hours.
He wasn't very happy about having to pack away his tray table for landing where he was colouring in and having to sit up so started to get very upset - they turned the lights off so all he wanted was to sit on mummy's lap - but i obviously already had ezrael - so hezekiahs first major tantrum was as we decented in to Abu Dhabi - with him kicking out of the seatbelt - another lady tried helping but then gave up - not even the flight attendants bothered to get up - after a few minutes of screamig on the floor - i eventually was able to reason with him and he hopped in his seatbelt - AND THEN PROCEEDED TO FALL DEEPLY ASLEEP!!!!! And I mean deep asleep!!
GREAT....... now I have to run to get the next plane - carrying TWO KIDS?? and all the bags?? I knew this was going to be impossible...... as people got off the plane many just laughed and said goodluck or whatever - heaps of people commented at how well the boys had been the whole flight etc.... which they had up until that point.... I was starting to really pray and get a bit emotional when finally when almost the whole plane had left a lady said - can i help you - I quickly said yes and she carried all the bags while I had Ezrael strapped to me and tried to wake hezekiah while pulling him along behind me - poor thing walked for a little while - when he finally came to we were half way up to walkway off the plane - and he realised daddy wasn't there - so screamed we have to get back on the plane to get to daddy - poor thing was so heavily asleep he really didn't quite get that we had to take ANOTHER plane to get to daddy - so then he wailed for daddy the whole time i tried carrying him off the plane.
The lady helped me to get an airport pram and then she had to run - and of course I got a broken pram so had trouble pushing the pram the whole way to the next gate.
I realised we were no longer going to have 3 hours to run and play in the airport playground - but would have to RUN to get through security to get our plane before it left.
Hezekiah proceeded to scream for daddy while strapped in the pram all the way through airport - in some ways this was a blessing - when we got to security - the line was HUGE - probably would have taken an hour to get through - thankfully they heard a screaming child and ushered us through -
Still had to take hezekiah out of pram and collapse it and take ezrael out of the wrap - but unlike they usually require - they didn't even bother to make me take the liquids and baby bottles out or my electronics - I think they saw I had nothing left in me - after convincing Hezekiah to get back in the pram we ran as fast as we could to our gate - with just enough time to go the bathroom before they started boarding the plane - the boys had no time to stretch or play at all really -
But as soon as we were at the gate and saw all the Ugandans preparing to board the plane - it didn't matter - I prayed the boys would be ok on the next flight - but I realised no matter what - we only had one more 6hour flight and we'd be in Rob's arms.
I was reminded of one of the many reasons I love Ugandans - as soon as I sat down for the few minutes to wait for boarding - Hezekiah was being entertained by a Ugandan lady and Ezrael was crawling around playing peek-a-boo with a Ugandan teenage boy.
When it came time to board - multiple people offered to help us on to the plane.
The plane was so extremely quiet we had so much room and space it was great.
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| Almost time to get to daddy |
I can't express how although the Abu Dhabi part was stressful - how much I felt God's presence with me from the moment I said goodbye to my parents in Sydney till the moment we were in Rob's arms. Many people prayed before we left that God would place people in every area we needed help.
And He did - everytime I boarded the plane or got off eventually someone was there ready to help.
When it came time to land in Uganda - I told Hezekiah to look out the window - we were about to see Daddy - I don't think he still could really understand - he said " can't see daddy - daddy's in africa".... since that was the line he'd been told for almost 6 months - but finally I was able to say - we are now In Africa - and we can see daddy very soon.
I then got teary as I looked out the window at my home - the land of orange dirt and shiny tin roofs - everytime I fly in to Uganda I love seeing the way the light catches all the tin roofs on the little mut houses or the newer houses. It reminds me this is a land that has so much sparkle and joy to it - despite some of the hardships.
When we got off the plane a lovely lady helped me get off the plane and carried all our bags and then when we got off there was a lady who works at the airport asking was I leah - I said I was and she proceeded to help me get through security and through to get my bags - with her on our side we didn't have to wait in lines for any length of time.
She then had another airport worker, along with herself help me get all our HUGE 6 bags on to two trolleys and walked us out to meet Rob. ( Rob had arranged all of this for me - I have no idea how I could have physically pushed two trolleys FULL of huge bags, plus carry ezrael and push the pram on my own - so so grateful to God for this lady).
Before too long there was Rob running through the crowd of beautiful Ugandan faces to meet us.
Public displays of affection are incredibly rare here - but that didn't matter to Rob or me today. He ran to me and tried to squeeze me and pick me up but that was a bit difficult with Ezrael strapped to my front - after a kiss and tears from me - Rob looked down to see Hezekiah had jumped out of the pram and was just standing there with a look of shock on his face - like he was about to burst in to tears - and he was completely silent and then said - oh hey daddy as he literally ran and jumped in to his arms - it was so magical to see - and then when Rob turned to Ezrael he smiled and gently stroked Robs face, as he looked at me for reassurance!
I wish we could have filmed it - but Rob had made decision to come and collect us on his own so we could have family time - and I had my hands full.
But it doesn't matter - the memory is seared in to both Rob and my minds - when we walked back to the car and those who helped us had left - the four of us just held each other - finally a family of four again!
It was really the best feeling ever.
We decided since it was about 1pm that we'd go and spend afternoon at botanical gardens to give the boys a chance to run around a bit and then travel home after dinner - so that the boys didn't fall asleep on the way home in afternoon. |
| Showing Ezrael the monkeys for first time & reminding Hezekiah |
We eventually got home to our house about 8.30pm with both boys sound asleep and transferred well in to their new beds.
It was the best feeling walking in to our new house that Rob had found and chosen and rented for us and had set up. I was so grateful - every other time we've come back to Uganda it has meant being squeezed in to a tiny motel room for some weeks while we tried to find a house - so this time was so much better!
The next two weeks was spent just enjoying each other's company and remembering how it was to be together. The boys and I had some jetlag and took about a week - 10 days to really be settled sleep wise - but thankfully the boys only took a few bad nights and then adjusted quite quickly - Rob graciously did all the middle of the night playing while I slept.
Both boys settled quickly into the food and new languages and people around, except Ezrael struggled with diarhea from all the new foods and germs for about 2 weeks. He lost some weight but is doing well now - again Rob graciously changed 90% of the nappies to try and make up for all the one's he'd missed :)
Ezrael was amazing - for about the first 48hours he'd happily go to Rob but didn't like it if I left the room or if Rob took him somewhere away from me - but within a few days he knew it was his papa and was able to be settled and comforted and put to bed by Rob.
We spent the first 2 weeks without water in our house so the boys got use to helping us take the jerry cans out to the tank to get water for washing and bathing etc.
It didn't take Hezekiah any time to get use to the cold shower/basin baths but Ezrael was another matter. I think he's a bit more like his mama - and although I now can quite happily have a cold wash or shower - it did take me a long time to get use to them.
Thankfully he seems to be use to them now - although I'm sure like his mama he doesn't enjoy them as much as hot ones :)
We enjoyed a pretty quiet Christmas overall ( although i spent christmas day cooking from 7am - 2pm ) for us and some of Rob's siblings and friends.
We did manage to find a church that had a christmas jazz carols event, which was really great and made me feel like it was Christmas a bit more ( christmas carols aren't really sung here like in Australia).
We've enjoyed spending time at our farm and exploring the land a bit where we will have crops growing soon - the boys have especially loved that.
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| Back to eating great, affordable mangoes ALL the time |
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| Back to our weekly pancakes |
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| Back to making everything from scratch on our single gas bottle - tomato sauce & pasta sauce underway |
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| Content back in daddy's arms at christmas carols |
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| Ezraels first christmas. |
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| Our christmas tree with a present each wrapped in plastic bags - PERFECT |
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| Rob making chapati for christmas lunch |
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| Ezrael meeting uncle geof for the first time on christmas day |
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| christmas lunch prepared by Rob and me |
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| our first morning here I could hear Ezrael giggling and knew he was on verandah - i looked out curtain to see the neighour kid laughing and pointing at ezrael saying Mzungu Mzungu baby and running to get other children - ezrael lapped up the attention and giggled and smiled back. |
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| Our first day - hezekiah playing with the neighbours - didn't take long. |
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| Exploring the farm where they've just cleared in preparation for us to plant some crops - before the cleared Hippos use to enjoy grazing here. |
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| Huts near our farm about an hour and half from our home. |
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| Back to lots of reading with daddy |
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| Bathin outside in cold water under the stars - boys much prefer bathing outside. |
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| Back to hand washing - thankful for my love who helped us do a few weeks worth when we finally got water back after two weeks. |
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| Back to using technology for family catch ups! |
There is so much I have been reminded of since I've been back home - so many little things I had forgotten about life here
- I'd forgotten what is means to have no water and no electricity sometimes ( I took the power for granted so would let my phone/computer go flat forgetting that I may lose power and then not be able to charge it for a long time!)
- I'd forgotten how much i dislike dry season - dust everywhere! :)
- I'd forgotten how much I hate Ugandan traffic - ok - maybe I hadn't really forgotten but I'd forgotten the extent of it!
- I'd forgotten what its like to not be invisible! To always being stared at all of a sudden, has taken some time to get use to - as it has for the boys too. I'd forgotten how much of a fascination we are - Rob too had forgotten since, he was just a local ugandan without us here - now everyone knows him in our village since he is married to the Mzungu and has mzungu sons :)
- I'd forgotten how different our diet is here and how you have to get use to repeatetive eating.
- I'd forgotten what its like to cook on a single gas cyclinder.
- I'd forgotten how frustrating it can be with reception here sometimes and trying to get a good connection to family
- But I'd also forgotten how grateful I am for it!!
- I'd forgotten just how far Australia and family feel when you are actually here
but I hadn't forgotten the
- Kindness of people - our neighbours have all been very welcoming
- how many kids there are - everywhere - and how much they love our boys
- I'd forgotten how simple and slow life is here - and how BEAUTIFUL that is!
- and I hadn't forgotten how God is the centre of so much here - christmas and new year especially. ( we spent our new years at an all night praise party like many Ugandans do all over )
- And I certainly hadn't forgotten that this is home - that this is where we are meant to be - that despite the challenges - and the things that break my heart when I look around - that this is a land of great beauty, great people and amazing potential.
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| Enjoying the water when it finally came back with the neighbours joining in. |
It was a hard and long 5 1/2 months - with the boys hospitalised and so many other challenges while we were apart - but God never left our side.
I'm grateful to be back feeling the best I've ever felt - healed and whole ( more on that another time) and I'm grateful for our team here who sustained our organisation and ministry while we were away.
I'm very grateful to God for where we are living - unlike where we were living last time - we are in a place that doesn't have quite as much traffic and more than one road to get here if there is a bad jam. I'm grateful that we aren't in a busy urban area but a more rural, village like area ( even though that means we can't just walk and get certain items now)
I'm grateful for how safe our house feels this time and how much cooler it is than our last house - and overall even with the power losses and having had water and sewerage issues most of the time we've been here - its by far my favourite house from the last few we've had. And it's not by chance we found it - if you knew the story you'd know it was God who led Rob to find this place - because we would never have found this place out here if it wasn't for Him.
And I'm very grateful for our family ( and friends) in Australia and in Uganda who helped to care and occupy us in the time that we were apart and who pray and support us when we are so far away.
I am honestly just on cloud 9 - despite all the challenges and hurdles that may come at us this year - we are excited to see what 2018 has in store and believeing for BIG things for us as a family, but also for our ministry and all the children and women we are working with!!
ITS GOOD TO BE HOME!
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