Our new facility in the heart of the slums

I was very excited to see our new facility that we have rented right in the heart of the slums of Katanga.

Its incredibly hard to find any place in the slums to rent – let alone anything that is more than one room so God has really opened the way for us to find this place and we have a wonderful landlord.

Who is an elderly lady who fully believes in what we are doing and is excited to have us with her.

Our small compound sits right in the heart of Katanga slum and we currently have 3 small class rooms – and one large class room.

While most of the place has been newly renovated and/or built – we are in desperate need to finish those renovations. They were meant to be completed before the program returned this month. 

Sadly though our landlords daughter over Christmas had a full term baby born sleeping. This meant with all the medical expenses she has used her remainder of the budget she had to complete the renovations. Which we understand. 

We have been using the facility as it is – but we desperately need to get it finished and tidied and get the toilets put in – since each week see’s us working with 200 children!

An agreement has been made that if we can come up with the money for the remainder of the renovations in can be completed within a week or so and be ready for when school goes back. And then she will sub tract that off our rent.

We currently have rented the place for one full year so then with us covering the costs of the renovations we will get another months of rent.

So we are looking to raise $1200 as quick as we can to finish off the last classroom and have toilets done. We also will be concreting and roofing in between the classrooms so the children can sit there to eat their meal and also mean we can use the facility once the wet season arrives.

We don’t know how to raise the money that quickly – we can’t stretch our current read for life budget any more without having to deduct from feeding the children or letting a teacher go or something – which is obviously not what we want to be doing.

So we are asking you to join us in praying or helping us to fundraise for the $1200 so we can hopefully have the work completed in the next month ready for school to start back and ready for our skills training to start on the 1^st of March.

Part of the compound with one classroom shown. 

one of our classrooms

The area that needs to be concreted and roofed in between classrooms runs much longer than photo shows ( runs behind where i was standing also - this will allow us to have children sit and eat their food in this area) 

The largest classroom is being used but needs the floor now added and walls completed. 

Hezekiah ready a day early for Read for Life to start :) 

Our wonderful landlord and Robert discussing what needs to still be completed - she has been very gracious in allowing all the children who come to program to use her bathroom facilities and entrance gate while the work was still being done. 

Hezekiah and mummy checking out the facility while daddy chatted - notice he thinks I'm taking a photo - CHEESSEE

Read for life is still running on Saturdays during school term and 3 days a week during school holidays – we currently run 3 sessions on those days and have 200 children registered for the program.

We also have a waiting list of approximately 100 children, with more families wanting to attend all the time!

The program is growing and expanding and we are excited for this year.

Our teachers ( 4 ) who have been with us from the beginning are very excited to now be in our own facility right in the heart of the slums, where these children live. They have worked hard to grow and expand the program in my absence and we could not be more grateful for a hardworking, trustworthy team. 

We have found the families to be so supportive and receptive – with many mothers making sure they actually BRING their children to the program, to ensure they get there.

We have seen so much change in not only the reading ability of the children but even the behaviour too – even their mothers and families are agreeing!

Since through a normal school week the facility is empty – as of the 1^st of March we are going to be running Skills training for some of the mothers/guardians attached to the Read for Life program.

The first lot of skills training will be for approximately 20 women and run for 3 months.

This will run through the week in the morning and then in the afternoons we will be running adult literacy classes for the Read for Life parents.

Many of the families when we did a survey of Katanga slums listed 3 things as their biggest desires and needs.

-          Education for their children ( READ FOR LIFE is helping to increase that)

-          Skills training and jobs for parents ( Skills training will meet that)

-          Literacy and English teaching for adults ( Adult Literacy will meet that need – many families have shared that even though they may have a job or a small shop or something – that they lose clients due to the fact they can’t read or write or struggle to speak a language that their client speaks – remember theres 50 different languages here!)

Along with starting Skills training - we are starting a Creche for 0-4 year olds which will run during Read for Life and skills training. 

One of the issues we have with read for life - is most of the children come from single parent families - and often mothers have to go to work during the day - so you will find children as young as 5 bringing their baby siblings to their class - this is obviously making it difficult for that child to get the most out of the class but also makes it difficult for the teachers who are often the ones left to care for those babies/toddlers. 

We also understand many of the women who are signed up to Skills training have children not of school age. 

So we have employed one of our Landlords neices who is a nursery teacher and will set up one of the classrooms as a creche facility - she will sing and read to the babies which will hopefully ensure not only will they get a headstart but their siblings will be able to concentrate in class better! 

We are very excited to see what God does with Read for Life this year and the Skills training.

There are other dreams and goals for this year but for today that’s enough to give you an insight in to why we need to raise the money as quickly as we can so that the Read for life and skills training can have the biggest impact possible!! 😊

Thank you for your prayers and support!

One of the classes in action - classes are currently down in size due to christmas holidays with many children going to villages to see grandparents/family. 

One of the baby siblings that came this week - his brother is only 5 who was left in charge of this precious little guy. 

Being introduced to our newest baby class 

Ezrael took a liking to one of our students - and he was super sweet and good with him. 

Look at them looking at each other!!! He said it was first time he'd seen a 'white' baby! :) 

Back home together FINALLY

Well we have now been a family of 4 again for around 2 weeks - and its been the BEST!

Thought I would share a few of the adventures we've been on and the lessons I am learning again about life here in Uganda.

The flight here was LONG to say the least but overall the boys were amazing!! Honestly the hardest parts were going through security in Sydney and then again in Abu Dhabi with the two boys and all our onboard luggage.
Sydney wasn't too bad thankfully.
Saying goodbye was really hard but once we said goodbye to mum and dad my priority was keeping boys settled until on the plane - it was late about 8.30pm so boys were both tired and really ready for bed - thankfully we had an amazing lady on both the passport check and security check - then I realised the time and how the plane was already boarding ( security had taken so long I hadn't realised)
So I had to rush ( almost run) to get to the gate and there was already a massive line - after then giving the hostess our pram I had two tired kids and lots of bags - thankfully an amazing irish family offered to help and got us on to the plane and we got settled - then we were informed at we'd have to sit and wait while baggage was unloaded again etc as something had been misplaced or something or rather - so we taxied for like 1 hr 1/2 hours.

Sound asleep even before take off

I tried to keep them awake since I didn't really want them sleeping in the time they actually needed to be in their seats but nothing was going to keep them awake and so even before take off they were both asleep!

Both sound alseep before take off

Thankfully we'd received a bassinet so Ezrael was able to sleep about 60% of the flight in there - the other 20% he was in my arms due to turbulence and then the other 20% he was awake.
Hezekiah was amazing and slept about 11hrs of the 15hr flight. SO thankful for the purchase of plane pal inflatable leg rest - best $70 i've spent - he laid down pretty much the whole time.
I even managed to get some sleep and to eat so that was a blessing.
The hardest part was the last 2 hours where both boys were just wanted to move around.
Hezekiah was actually starting to get tired the last half hour before they said to prepare to land which was not good timing!! I needed him to be settled for landing and then getting off the plane and going through security and on to the next flight - which we'd now have to run for since we were now delayed about 2hours.
He wasn't very happy about having to pack away his tray table for landing where he was colouring in and having to sit up so started to get very upset - they turned the lights off so all he wanted was to sit on mummy's lap  - but i obviously already had ezrael - so hezekiahs first major tantrum was as we decented in to Abu Dhabi - with him kicking out of the seatbelt - another lady tried helping but then gave up - not even the flight attendants bothered to get up - after a few minutes of screamig on the floor - i eventually was able to reason with him and he hopped in his seatbelt - AND THEN PROCEEDED TO FALL DEEPLY ASLEEP!!!!! And I mean deep asleep!!
GREAT....... now I have to run to get the next plane - carrying TWO KIDS?? and all the bags?? I knew this was going to be impossible...... as people got off the plane many just laughed and said goodluck or whatever - heaps of people commented at how well the boys had been the whole flight etc.... which they had up until that point.... I was starting to really pray and get a bit emotional when finally when almost the whole plane had left a lady said - can i help you - I quickly said yes and she carried all the bags while I had Ezrael strapped to me and tried to wake hezekiah while pulling him along behind me - poor thing walked for a little while - when he finally came to we were half way up to walkway off the plane - and he realised daddy wasn't there - so screamed we have to get back on the plane to get to daddy - poor thing was so heavily asleep he really didn't quite get that we had to take ANOTHER plane to get to daddy - so then he wailed for daddy the whole time i tried carrying him off the plane.
The lady helped me to get an airport pram and then she had to run - and of course I got a broken pram so had trouble pushing the pram the whole way to the next gate.
I realised we were no longer going to have 3 hours to run and play in the airport playground - but would have to RUN to get through security to get our plane before it left.
Hezekiah proceeded to scream for daddy while strapped in the pram all the way through airport - in some ways this was a blessing  - when we got to security  - the line was HUGE - probably would have taken an hour to get through - thankfully they heard a screaming child and ushered us through -
Still had to take hezekiah out of pram and collapse it and take ezrael out of the wrap - but unlike they usually require - they didn't even bother to make me take the liquids and baby bottles out or my electronics - I think they saw I had nothing left in me - after convincing Hezekiah to get back in the pram we ran as fast as we could to our gate - with just enough time to go the bathroom before they started boarding the plane - the boys had no time to stretch or play at all really -
But as soon as we were at the gate and saw all the Ugandans preparing to board the plane - it didn't matter - I prayed the boys would be ok on the next flight - but I realised no matter what - we only had one more 6hour flight and we'd be in Rob's arms.
I was reminded of one of the many reasons I love Ugandans - as soon as I sat down for the few minutes to wait for boarding - Hezekiah was being entertained by a Ugandan lady and Ezrael was crawling around playing peek-a-boo with a Ugandan teenage boy.

When it came time to board - multiple people offered to help us on to the plane.
The plane was so extremely quiet we had so much room and space it was great.

Almost time to get to daddy

Once in the air - Hezekiah fell asleep and slept 4 1/2 hours of the 6 hour trip. Ezrael slept about 3 hours of it - and the majority of the rest of the time was cuddled and entertained by a Ugandan lady across from us. She watched the boys while I went to the bathroom and ate my food.

I can't express how although the Abu Dhabi part was stressful - how much I felt God's presence with me from the moment I said goodbye to my parents in Sydney till the moment we were in Rob's arms. Many people prayed before we left that God would place people in every area we needed help.
And He did - everytime I boarded the plane or got off eventually someone was there ready to help.

When it came time to land in Uganda - I told Hezekiah to look out the window - we were about to see Daddy - I don't think he still could really understand - he said " can't see daddy - daddy's in africa".... since that was the line he'd been told for almost 6 months - but finally I was able to say - we are now In Africa - and we can see daddy very soon.
I then got teary as I looked out the window at my home - the land of orange dirt and shiny tin roofs - everytime I fly in to Uganda I love seeing the way the light catches all the tin roofs on the little mut houses or the newer houses. It reminds me this is a land that has so much sparkle and joy to it - despite some of the hardships.

When we got off the plane a lovely lady helped me get off the plane and carried all our bags and then when we got off there was a lady who works at the airport asking was I leah - I said I was and she proceeded to help me get through security and through to get my bags - with her on our side we didn't have to wait in lines for any length of time.
She then had another airport worker, along with herself help me get all our HUGE 6 bags on to two trolleys and walked us out to meet Rob. ( Rob had arranged all of this for me - I have no idea how I could have physically pushed two trolleys FULL of huge bags, plus carry ezrael and push the pram on my own - so so grateful to God for this lady).

Before too long there was Rob running through the crowd of beautiful Ugandan faces to meet us.
Public displays of affection are incredibly rare here - but that didn't matter to Rob or me today. He ran to me and tried to squeeze me and pick me up but that was a bit difficult with Ezrael strapped to my front - after a kiss and tears from me - Rob looked down to see Hezekiah had jumped out of the pram and was just standing there with a look of shock on his face - like he was about to burst in to tears - and he was completely silent and then said - oh hey daddy as he literally ran and jumped in to his arms - it was so magical to see - and then when Rob turned to Ezrael he smiled and gently stroked Robs face, as he looked at me for reassurance!

I wish we could have filmed it - but Rob had made decision to come and collect us on his own so we could have family time - and I had my hands full.
But it doesn't matter - the memory is seared in to both Rob and my minds - when we walked back to the car and those who helped us had left - the four of us just held each other - finally a family of four again!
It was really the best feeling ever.

We decided since it was about 1pm that we'd go and spend afternoon at botanical gardens to give the boys a chance to run around a bit and then travel home after dinner - so that the boys didn't fall asleep on the way home in afternoon.

Showing Ezrael the monkeys for first time & reminding Hezekiah

We eventually got home to our house about 8.30pm with both boys sound asleep and transferred well in to their new beds.
It was the best feeling walking in to our new house that Rob had found and chosen and rented for us and had set up. I was so grateful - every other time we've come back to Uganda it has meant being squeezed in to a tiny motel room for some weeks while we tried to find a house - so this time was so much better!

The next two weeks was spent just enjoying each other's company and remembering how it was to be together. The boys and I had some jetlag and took about a week - 10 days to really be settled sleep wise  - but thankfully the boys only took a few bad nights and then adjusted quite quickly - Rob graciously did all the middle of the night playing while I slept.
Both boys settled quickly into the food and new languages and people around, except Ezrael struggled with diarhea from all the new foods and germs for about 2 weeks. He lost some weight but is doing well now - again Rob graciously changed 90% of the nappies to try and make up for all the one's he'd missed :)

Ezrael was amazing - for about the first 48hours he'd happily go to Rob but didn't like it if I left the room or if Rob took him somewhere away from me - but within a few days he knew it was his papa and was able to be settled and comforted and put to bed by Rob.

We spent the first 2 weeks without water in our house so the boys got use to helping us take the jerry cans out to the tank to get water for washing and bathing etc.

It didn't take Hezekiah any time to get use to the cold shower/basin baths but Ezrael was another matter. I think he's a bit more like his mama - and although I now can quite happily have a cold wash or shower - it did take me a long time to get use to them.
Thankfully he seems to be use to them now - although I'm sure like his mama he doesn't enjoy them as much as hot ones :)

We enjoyed a pretty quiet Christmas overall ( although i spent christmas day cooking from 7am - 2pm ) for us and some of Rob's siblings and friends.
We did manage to find a church that had a christmas jazz carols event, which was really great and made me feel like it was Christmas a bit more ( christmas carols aren't really sung here like in Australia).
We've enjoyed spending time at our farm and exploring the land a bit where we will have crops growing soon - the boys have especially loved that.

Back to eating great, affordable mangoes ALL the time

Back to our weekly pancakes

Back to making everything from scratch on our single gas bottle - tomato sauce & pasta sauce underway

Content back in daddy's arms at christmas carols 

Ezraels first christmas. 

Our christmas tree with a present each wrapped in plastic bags - PERFECT 

Rob making chapati for christmas lunch

Ezrael meeting uncle geof for the first time on christmas day

christmas lunch prepared by Rob and me 

our first morning here I could hear Ezrael giggling and knew he was on verandah - i looked out curtain to see the neighour kid laughing and pointing at ezrael saying Mzungu Mzungu baby and running to get other children - ezrael lapped up the attention and giggled and smiled back. 

Our first day - hezekiah playing with the neighbours - didn't take long. 

Exploring the farm where they've just cleared in preparation for us to plant some crops - before the cleared Hippos use to enjoy grazing here. 

Huts near our farm about an hour and half from our home.

Back to lots of reading with daddy

Bathin outside in cold water under the stars - boys much prefer bathing outside. 

Back to hand washing - thankful for my love who helped us do a few weeks worth when we finally got water back after two weeks. 

Back to using technology for family catch ups! 

There is so much I have been reminded of since I've been back home - so many little things I had forgotten about life here
- I'd forgotten what is means to have no water and no electricity sometimes ( I took the power for granted so would let my phone/computer go flat forgetting that I may lose power and then not be able to charge it for a long time!)
- I'd forgotten how much i dislike dry season - dust everywhere! :)
- I'd forgotten how much I hate Ugandan traffic - ok - maybe I hadn't really forgotten but I'd forgotten the extent of it!
- I'd forgotten what its like to not be invisible! To always being stared at all of a sudden, has taken some time to get use to - as it has for the boys too. I'd forgotten how much of a fascination we are - Rob too had forgotten since, he was just a local ugandan without us here - now everyone knows him in our village since he is married to the Mzungu and has mzungu sons :)
- I'd forgotten how different our diet is here and how you have to get use to repeatetive eating.
- I'd forgotten what its like to cook on a single gas cyclinder.
- I'd forgotten how frustrating it can be with reception here sometimes and trying to get a good connection to family
- But I'd also forgotten how grateful I am for it!!
- I'd forgotten just how far Australia and family feel when you are actually here


but I hadn't forgotten the
- Kindness of people - our neighbours have all been very welcoming
- how many kids there are - everywhere - and how much they love our boys
- I'd forgotten how simple and slow life is here - and how BEAUTIFUL that is!

- and I hadn't forgotten how God is the centre of so much here - christmas and new year especially. ( we spent our new years at an all night praise party like many Ugandans do all over ) 

- And I certainly hadn't forgotten that this is home - that this is where we are meant to be - that despite the challenges - and the things that break my heart when I look around - that this is a land of great beauty, great people and amazing potential. 

Enjoying the water when it finally came back with the neighbours joining in. 

I'm so grateful to be back - I'm grateful for the precious gift of Ezrael that allowed us to go home to Australia and have a wonderful time with family and friends and our church at Eastlakes - and I'm grateful to God who sustained Rob and I while we were apart. 

It was a hard and long 5 1/2 months - with the boys hospitalised and so many other challenges while we were apart - but God never left our side. 

I'm grateful to be back feeling the best I've ever felt - healed and whole ( more on that another time) and I'm grateful for our team here who sustained our organisation and ministry while we were away. 

I'm very grateful to God for where we are living - unlike where we were living last time - we are in a place that doesn't have quite as much traffic and more than one road to get here if there is a bad jam. I'm grateful that we aren't in a busy urban area but a more rural, village like area ( even though that means we can't just walk and get certain items now) 

I'm grateful for how safe our house feels this time and how much cooler it is than our last house - and overall even with the power losses and having had water and sewerage issues most of the time we've been here - its by far my favourite house from the last few we've had. And it's not by chance we found it - if you knew the story you'd know it was God who led Rob to find this place  - because we would never have found this place out here if it wasn't for Him. 

And I'm very grateful for our family ( and friends) in Australia and in Uganda who helped to care and occupy us in the time that we were apart and who pray and support us when we are so far away. 

I am honestly just on cloud 9 - despite all the challenges and hurdles that may come at us this year - we are excited to see what 2018 has in store and believeing for BIG things for us as a family, but also for our ministry and all the children and women we are working with!! 

ITS GOOD TO BE HOME! 

Being vulnerable

Its been such an incredibly hard time since our new little bundle has been born.
Its been an incredibly hard and trying time, but also a time full of so many blessings.

What a blessing he is - and I am incredibly grateful for him but his arrival has not been an easy one and has caused me to question and to hold on to God like I haven't had to do in a very long time.
He will be four months next week - that time has gone so fast in some ways- but in other ways it has been painfully slow.

Its been a time when I have had to allow myself to more open and honest, and its certainly been a time when God has been speaking to me about so many things in deeper and fresh ways.

It has been a time when I have leaned more heavily on my husband than ever before and our marriage has grown and strengthened even more.

I discovered in a conversation with someone at church about 6 weeks ago that many people had no idea I suffered with a rare medical condition.
They made the comment that they knew I had rare complications during pregnancy but once I'd healed from the c-section etc - I'd be all well again.

It made me realise just how well I have hidden my suffering from people. This person I had known for about 3 years.
They had no clue why I had rare complications during pregnancy - they had no clue of the pain I experienced each day.

I started to share with them and their eyes were wide - and she made a very impacting statement to me.... " Leah, why do you hide this so much? "

I gave her a brief answer, something along the lines of, 'because I don't like complaining" and I don't like making people feel uncomfortable around me when they don't know what to say when I am honest about my health or 'how my day really was'.

I knew deep within me, that there was another reason I struggled to be vulnerable. I have been trying over the last few years to let my wall down, but it seemed I had a long way to go.
For someone who has no problem sharing my life in other ways, my health has been something I have held very close to my chest. And only I knew why.

This lovely Lady and I chatted for a little while longer and I shared a bit more about my journey and my illness I've had since I was a little girl. I shared about all the surgeries, the diagnosis, the years of wheelchairs, crutches, hospitals, missing school and being away from my dad and brothers while mum and I were in the hospital all the time. I talked about the chronic 24/7 pain that I've been experiencing since I was 7 and the fact I can't remember not being in pain or constantly exhausted from the chronic pain. I shared about a lifetime of painful treatments and heavy medications that have led to dependency at times on them, horrible withdrawals and side affects and weaning processes that cause you to feel like your body has been overtaken by another creature.
I shared how throughout it all I believed God was faithful, and good and was a mighty healer. I shared how for me the joy of the Lord was my strength and my faith and a positive attitude helped me get through each day and my deep love to help others. She listened and had a beautiful look of understanding and acceptance - she replied with many beautiful and encouraging statements, but it was the next statement this lovely lady made, that has been leading me on a journey since Ezrael was born, she said, " Leah, everything I know about you - shows me you want to use your life to help others. To help people find freedom and justice and to understand that God loves them.  You want to glorify Him in all you do, and you do do that, and you said you believe God can be glorified in your pain and illness, but how will that happen if you don't share about your journey? "

I didn't really give a response to it but it challenged me deeply.
It made me realise that I was still carrying around a wound and made me confront the reason I often refused to be open and vulnerable with people.

You see there was a time when I was a lot more open and honest with my challenges - I mean the majority of my growing childhood and teenager years it was hard to hide it, since I spent majority of it in hospital and having large surgeries which would leave me rehabilitation, and wheelchairs and crutches for months. But I was definitely more open about it - I had no reason not to be - people were always kind and loving and understanding of a young girl sick, or even a teenager
But one day I had a fellow teenager ( who was a friend) question my sincerity - or the severity of my condition. As I sat there in a wheelchair after yet another surgery, I was challenged about the fact that they believed I was 'faking it'..... when I asked how you could possibly fake this - and said that I could go and get the xrays from home that show the growths that were inside my legs - that were longer than my hands - or should I call the surgeons that cut me open and have removed the other growths they've found in the past or that treat me. They quickly back tracked and said, " well maybe you don't fake it but maybe you exaggerate it for attention".

I can still remember the knife that went through my heart with those words - at 17 years of age as I sat there in a wheelchair with my leg in plaster sticking out - I felt that I had always been positive and hadn't used my condition to draw attention to myself.
It hurt, so much.... but I had no idea how those words would affect me over the years.

Although I have forgiven those friends, who I'm sure probably don't even remember it and even though they've never apologised I gave it to God many years ago but God has revealed to me this year that I was still struggling to be honest and open to people, or to be REAL with them because of those words.

Since that conversation with that precious lady - I've been working on being more open, more honest with people.
I even shared my testimony in church a few weeks back - obviously in 10 minutes you can only share a small portion about your life - but it helped. ( There's a link at the end to my testimony)
Now people have a better understanding of my life, my journey and struggles - but also my joy in Jesus. I think people realise more now why I have to be so positive and upbeat - because it would be so easy to let pain and my health challenges to pull you down.

There is still so much I could say - its a huge conversation -
There is so much we teach in the christian church that is SO wrong in relation to health and sickness.... silly things like" oh its God's will for you to be sick...."  etc,
But I know God heals and He is a GOOD GOD.

Its not an easy conversation - I still don't know even how to address it when it becomes something I need to share with someone ....."I have health challenges"...... "i'm sick."... "I have something wrong with me"....." my health is bad ".... "i have a disease"..... ??
I never know the right way to explain to people that I'm not 'well'?

Its incredibly difficult having a condition that's invisible.
Its much easier when I limp obviously when my pain is exceptionally bad, or when I was in a wheelchair or on crutches more etc - its so much easier.
But when I am not using one of these aids or walking more normally - its much harder. People assume I'm better or well?

Even now that I'm out of the wheelchair after having Ezrael - people say with kindness, oh your getting better, or its so good to see you all better.
The reality is thats not the case - I am actually in more pain than I was in the wheelchair.

I have experienced more pain this time having Ezrael, than with Hezekiah and the reality is with the condition I have that surgeries often mean more pain, not less.
When the nerves are cut and don't heal or regenerate - that creates new pain.
This is certainly the case this time.

Is Ezrael worth it - ABSOLUTELY - does that take the pain away, does that mean I like that fact I can't roll over in bed on my own now, or struggle to do basic mum jobs - no.
But its the new normal.

God's been teaching me so much since my little man was born this time around.
Just as God did teach me so much when Hezekiah was born.

I've really been learning what it means to be honest and real with people. To be vulnerable.
I want that in my life I've realised.
I don't want half hearted friendships anymore - I want to learn and grow and be better and do better.
I'm actively asking my friends deeper questions now - so be prepared for that ! :)

I'm learning that its ok to say - you know I'm not ok physically or emotionally - But I'm still good, if that makes since :)

I'm learning its ok to say - Hi my name is leah and I have a rare condition that affects about 1 in every 1 million people

It hasn't been easy - especially as since I've had Ezrael my health has been even more challenging than normal. And not just things relating to the pregnancy complications that I or Ezrael have faced.

I am currently fighting an African bug that appears to have been laying dormant in my system for who knows how long.
And because my body was run down after the birth it decided to attack my intestinal track, an infection that has led to extreme nausea ( just like being pregnant again but with no beautiful baby at the end), an extreme headache, weakness and ulcers in the intestines, which means extremely bad pain and blood in my stool.
Honestly its not nice - I am so thankful for my very clever husband who worked out what was happening to my body after being treated for other things and for waiting for more tests!
Thankfully my darling clicked on and with the help of my wonderful Dr are trying to treat it - but the treatment makes you even more sick!
It's been horrible to say the least and again I have hidden it well - I've still been going out and trying to do what I can because if I didn't I'd probably fall in a heap.

The first round of treatment hasn't worked - and we've had such a hard time getting the medications - and now we have to increase the dosage to try and beat it as all the symptoms are back.

This is all while I'm still healing from the c-section, and struggling with a flare up of my condition and pain due to my body being run down.
I have moments with McCune Albright and Fibro ( the conditions I have) where I can be stable and then I get a flare up, so everything gets worse
This often occurs after sickness or surgeries - so having a baby and a c-section especially is the perfect storm.

In all truth's my body has not been kind to me lately - even worse than usual.
The journey to have a baby for me is a long one - 9 months of a very difficult and painful pregnancy, with so many complications and extreme pain for me and my sons in the womb ( yes sadly my condition caused stress and pain in the womb for my boys)

The recovery is long and hard ( with Hezekiah it took me a good 13 months before I felt I was my normal self - even though I had new pain now from where nerves had been cut and damaged)
It includes addiction to medications and having withdrawals which is extremely hard on me and our little one - its so hard to watch your tiny baby experience those symptoms.

It includes months of monitoring and awful sickness and feelings as Me and our baby is weaned off the medications and are placed on medications that are available in Uganda.


Its a long journey - and it is the same this time - although recovery is taking a lot longer, which was to be expected.
And we haven't even begun the weaning process yet this time as I've been too unwell.... but I thought I knew what we were going to face.....

BUT I DIDN'T -  I certainly didn't bank on fighting an african bug at the same time!!

Some nights as I have laid in my husbands arms sobbing in pain, or with nausea from the bug - or now from the medications trying to treat the infection - it would be very easy to turn my back on God - or to question His goodness.

I can say - since Ezraels birth - I have done more soul searching than I have done in a VERY long time - and being so sick with this african bug - has certainly added to that.

Wondering now how to I mother, while having a life long condition ( although I still stand on believe God will heal me one day) ..... how do I mother two active boys when in constant pain....
How to I be involved and run a growing organisation while sick in a third world country.....

How do I use my pain.... this sickness.... this condition ( I try not to say my condition - as I don't want to own it ) ........

I don't really have the answers for these questions yet - maybe I never will..... but I am learning more of God's faithfulness and His goodness.
I'm learning how true and real friendships - are incredibly rare - I have many friends.... but those ones where you feel safe enough to be vulnerable.... those friendships where people take the time to ask and actually listen to how you are.

I can honestly say I have only a very small amount of friends who actually ask specifically - how my health is... or how I'm going with my pain etc.
And I do understand its hard for people, they don't know what to say - but not asking is worse.

I'm learning how much I am craving realness in my life - deeper friendships... a deeper marriage ( although I think our marriage is pretty fantastic) ..... a deeper understanding of how to help and do our work and ministry in Uganda..... and certainly a deeper understanding of who God is and how I fit in to this plan.

I'm understanding more about how the words we speak and how we judge others can cause people to carry hurt and burdens for a lifetime if we are not careful. Although I had forgiven those friends that spoke those words over me - I was continuing to allow those words to make me feel guilty and trapped and that I couldn't be vulnerable with people, hence they make think I was 'Faking it', or 'complaining'.
We must be so careful of what we say to people, but we also should be ACTIVE in throwing away negative words spoken over us and to not carry them with us through life.

I am understanding just why the bible encourages us to "bear one another's burdens, share with each other, and so fulfill God's law". God saw that being real, and vulnerable with each other, is really the only way we can do this life well.

When I sat down to write this blog - it was only going to be short - more for myself on keeping a record of some of the things God's been showing me since Ezrael's been born.

Now I see its rather long ( not surprising I guess really ) .... and I can see how much I've missed writing..... and how I think God wants me to write more......

I am seeing more of who God is.... and I can say honestly that my positive attitude and that my strength certainly comes from God... but it requires me to stay close to Him.... these past few months have certainly tested me physically and I know that's not over, (  especially tonight as I begin the next round of treatment to try and beat this infection...... )

but even more so emotionally and spiritually as I aim to hold on to my faith and my utter believe that above all......... God is good.



READ BELOW FOR A BIT MORE INFO OF MY CONDITIONS AND FOR
LINK TO MY TESTIMONY https://www.facebook.com/eastlakessalvos/videos/1422374754509803/

McCune-Albright syndrome is a rare disorder that affects the bones, skin, and several hormone-producing (endocrine) tissues. It can also affect nerves and many other parts of the body in various forms. People can suffer from it in various degrees, depending on how many cells were affected during the mutation in the early stages of development in the womb. 
This was a condition I was born with. 

Fibromayalgia is a condition that impacts the pain signals to the brain - little is known but Drs are learning more all the time. 
Many people now suffer from this condition - but it affects me in some similar ways to others but also in many different ways as it fights against my other condition. 
Dr's believe this condition has come about due to all the trauma my body has experienced from a young age. 
I was diagnosed with fibro approx 5 years ago but was most likely suffering from it a lot early also. 

The combination makes treating and understanding me - even more difficult for the doctors 

Handing out backpacks

We are very grateful to our brother Geof who was able to represent us recently at The Salvation Army children's home in handing out brand new school bags to all the children who call it home. 

In the lead up to Christmas we decided this year that we would fund raise for new backpacks for the children we minister to. 

Due to the fact that many of them go back to the village to have time with friends or extended family over the Christmas break we told them at the Christmas party that they wouldn't get their Christmas gifts until school went back ( we didn't want any bags to go missing in the journey home etc) 

We are so grateful to all those in Australia who helped us raise enough money for approximately 40 backpacks. 

We are so grateful as are the children - many of them would never had a new bag before. 

Check out some of the photos below of one of the groups of children receiving their new bags.