Hezekiah's Story - Our little miracle... FROM MUMMY'S perspective

Hezekiah's Story  OUR MIRACLE 
From mummy's perspective 

I’ll never forget the day we found we were actually pregnant.

We had made decision earlier in year we would actively try for a baby that year.

Even though I had been told since I was 13 I would never have a baby – or it was highly unlikely – it had never stopped me from dreaming or believing.

I talked about being a mum, dreamt of names along with my girlfriends and a large portion of my friend would not have known about what my specialists had even said to me that day in Sydney.

I believed I’d be a mum even if it was through adoption – something I had a huge heart for.

Rob does too, so as we talked of building a family adoption was always going to be a part of the story somehow – whether that was how we built our family in total or whether it would complement miracle babies God might give us.

So we made decision to try – I internally and very personally made the decision that I wouldn’t allow the outcome to take my joy – and that even if adoption was the only way – that it would be just as perfect.

One day I woke up feeling strange – nauseas, and some other unusual symptoms only a woman would get.

After a few days of this, I woke up one morning with a rather bad pain in my side.

Rob finally admitted maybe I should try a pregnancy test. After a few came back negative on the one day (he had put the thought in my head so now I had to keep testing J

When I tested the next day with the last few simple Ugandan pregnancy tests, you could faintly see the possibility of 2 lines.... could this really be!!

Rob was surprisingly calm and didn’t seem overly excited and warned me to wait and see from blood test before I got too excited. He did this in a gentle way without dimension my hopes.

We went along to church as normal but all morning I had noticed the pain in my side was gradually increasing till the point during church I felt I may black out and be sick.

So when Rob got phone call to go in to work (constantly on call) we decided we’d call in to the small clinic in same street as our church for quick ultrasound and blood test before he needed to be at work, as my pain was increasing.

The ultrasound didn’t show anything where a pregnancy should be – I felt rather deflated but tried not to allow that to show – I then kind of switched off – then the dr and rob did a lot of chatting and talking amongst themselves and pointing at the screen – all I really took in was a mass I could see in my fallopian tube – right where I was having the intense pain.

I didn’t really know what it meant at that stage – some sort of infection I presumed.

They also did a blood test – we sat and waited for few minutes – gave us the results in envelope and we left.

I casually opened the envelope when outside on a red dusty dirt road, and glanced at report – I looked at it then up at rob.... and said – is this real... is this serious?

This says positive for pregnancy!

I screamed – he smiled and said yes.

I could not work out why he wasn’t more excited when all I wanted to be doing was a dance right here in front of all the people already staring at the excited mzungu.

Rob said, I have to get to work honey, we can talk and celebrate when I get home.

So we had to go our separate ways.

I went home feeling just so incredibly high and praising God for a baby – a miracle baby.

I had no idea what was to come.

But it did not take long to find out – over the next hours while I waited for rob to return from work I was sick numbers of times and in excruciating pain – and I know pain – I have had serious – large orthopaedic surgeries almost every 1-2 years of my life since I was 8...I lived with chronic pain every day of my life... I don’t even remember a time before pain..... But this was different, a pain I’d never experienced before.

By time Rob got home pain was very bad- but when he came in I put on a brave face and we hugged and rob prayed over me and the life inside me – but If I’m honest I couldn’t work out why he wasn’t more excited – within a few hours I was in bed crying in excruciating pain – almost in and out of consciousness from the pain.

As I watched rob kneel beside me holding my hand – I knew something was wrong – it was written all over his face..... I said what is going on...

He said honey you are pregnant but not with a viable pregnancy – you have an ectopic pregnancy.

The tears flowed and he said we have to get you to city to confirm and then get you to surgery. This was in the middle of the night with no way of getting there till morning and it was an 8hour long journey on a public bus.

Rob managed to get hold of Dan my brother in Australia and without telling him what was wrong just told him I was very sick and in danger, real danger.

Dan reminded him of god’s power and the authority Rob had as head of our family.

So Rob went to prayer – he prayed like I’d never heard him pray before – amongst the agonising wails from me in pain he held my hand and prayed – prayed for God to do a miracle.

For God to save this baby – something rob had never heard of even being possible with an ectopic pregnancy but begging God to move the baby to the correct position.

I fell in to a deep sleep – almost unconscious – Rob says there was such a peace fall upon me and the room. 

He continued to pray and beg God and then woke me early in the morning.

We made our way to bus station and I said to Rob the pain had subsided some and was now in a slightly different spot – over the hours it took to get to the city I continued to feel the pain move..... It was moving more central to my abdomen and as it moved it seemed to be fading.

By time we made it in to city and went to a place with a good ultrasound machine, I no longer was in pain and felt quite good.

We went in to the room – Rob asked the sonographer so first check my fallopian tubes as I had ectopic pregnancy – as they scanned all they could see was perfectly normal fallopian tubes.... as he moved the wand over...... there it was.... a tiny little dot.... where none has been 24 hrs earlier..... the sonographer said – this was an ectopic..... but by some miracle it isn’t anymore....

I will never forget Rob’s face – the face of a man who had been to battle and won!

We could finally celebrate.... we thought that was the end of the battle for our baby’s life – but it was just the beginning...... but we knew then..... that God had big plans for our baby and He was listening to us and we would not be journeying this alone.....

I was incredibly sick the next 17 weeks- hyperemesis gravidarum (severe morning sickness) would consume my body and a lot of my pregnancy but especially the first two trimesters. 

I spent 24hrs in bed and struggled to eat anything or keep anything down. Rob was a wonderful Dr and Husband and medicated me and kept me hydrated (put me on IV fluids at home) and found a medication to at least let me keep food down and stay hydrated.

We hadn’t told any family yet as we wanted to do it in a special way – no one was going to believe the miracle that I was pregnant – let alone the rest of the story – which we knew many would struggle to believe but we knew the truth along with the Dr’s here who’d seen the evidence.

Even after 17 weeks of not leaving the bed I could barely leave the house – everyone cooks outside in Uganda and the smell of cooking was everywhere – mixed with pit toilets.... it didn’t make for a great time so our house was kept locked up with me in bed.

Every trip to city for check up was excruciating! 6- 8 hours on bumpy bus as the roads were so terrible.... only pit toilets on the way which I could not stomach so resorted to peeing in a bottle under a long skirt a few times!!

The constant smell of cooking, pit toilets and other unusual smells made going anywhere very difficult.

When we finally made it to 10 weeks and we announced the news to family all at once over skype when they each all opened a package of chocolate saying If I’m getting fat so are you. A secretive friend had arranged it all for me.

It took them a little while to get it – but then the screaming kicked in and mum going – ARE YOU SERIOUS... but dr’s said.... and the tears started.

The sickness continued but the joy was increasing as we started to share our news with those closest to us and seeing them understand what a huge miracle it was just bought even more joy.

We didn’t share about the ectopic pregnancy part because it was something we felt too protective of at that stage and felt it was something to be shared in person. The pregnancy was already a miracle so we kept that part close to our heart.

By about 15 weeks I was finally starting to feel slightly stronger and would leave the house for  a short stroll sometimes and finally able to start going back to church etc. I had a few weeks where things seemed a bit better - and I thought I was over the worst of it.

Then one morning at about 16 weeks – I woke up literally having no stomach at all – I got up with very bad back pain and said to rob – where’s my tummy gone. I had started showing quite early especially for a first pregnancy and had had a noticeable bump around 12 weeks – many had been wondering if there was twins since I was showing so much by 16 weeks. But today I was flat – and I mean flat nothing there at all.

Rob and I thought it was weird but didn’t think too much of it – Rob went to work and by time he got home that evening we laughed at fact I was now Big again.... but the laughing didn’t last long... the same thing continued over next few days and the pain increased – I also noticed it wasn’t just waking with no tummy.... I could be sitting there and start to feel a very strange sensation and over an hour or so would watch my tummy disappear or reappear.

I didn’t understand it nor, did Rob or any of his collegues, so we casually sent an email to my GP just mentioning the strange symptoms as we kept in good contact with all my Australian drs.

The next day I woke up and was unable to walk – I could not move..... the pain was horrific and my legs would not work... rob could not work out what was going on – he’d never seen anything like it.....

But with the incredible wisdom God has given him and Robs obedience to listen to Gods leading he got me out to lounge room and pulled our two single lounges apart – I spent the next 24hrs laying between those two lounges.... as the time went on the pain reduced and I could walk again.

This continued on for the next few days - after some time I actually went almost 48hrs straight not really being able to move or walk and we thought it wasn’t going to help – we prayed a lot in this time and thought it was so strange.

We had my 18 week scan booked in the city so made our way to the city – while sitting in a cafe still just thinking my pregnancy was going to be a painful but funny one – we got a very distressed call from my mum and dad.

They’d just gotten off the phone to my GP – and she’d been on numbers of phone calls to specialists all over the world  - including her brother who was a specialist – when she told him my symptoms he said – I’d be getting her home now – sounds like an incarcerated uterus – incredibly dangerous for her – and baby won’t make it. Her uterus could rupture – and if that happens in Uganda – where they are – I can’t see either making it.

None of it made any sense to me and I honestly thought it was all an overreaction but I saw rob’s face literally drop.
He seemed to understand the gravity of what they were saying.

We got off the phone and I said – we will be fine I’m not going.
He said no Leah – this is not up for discussion, you are going.

We knew this would mean months apart – he could not just leave his internship but I knew Rob’s face meant he needed me to trust him.

We didn’t have passports or any of my clothes so we had to make the horrible journey all the way back to Lira after the ultrasound which confirmed the dr’s fears – incarcerated uterus.

I spent next few days on the lounge on my tummy while rob packed and while flights were arranged – those days were by far the worst and I think rob and I were both concerned it was too late- that maybe the uterus was now completely stuck and wouldn’t come undone without intervention which I couldn’t get which would mean a ruptured uterus was coming..... PRAISE GOD once again it did come unstuck and I got on the plane home to Australia.

Straight to emergency where if I’m honest the first dr to see me had never heard of it and thought I was google diagnosing it.

Thankfully within a few days my gp and specialist had got in contact with M3 team at JHH and although they hadn’t seen it had heard of it – and were able to watch themselves over some days as they monitored my uterus swinging in and out – the famous swinging uterus J

They said quite openly- your husband saved your life – if he had not started putting you between those lounges when he did – it would have become incarcerated earlier and not been able to undo itself. You and your baby both properly would have died.

It’s a miracle.

Another miracle, in an already miraculous journey. 

Dr’s said that although the chance of it getting completely stuck were diminishing the further we got along – they had never treated any one with my normal medical condition along with all these other things so really it was one day at a time and if the baby made it, it would need a lot more miracles and strengthening. And if we made it to 28 weeks they’d be happy.

We knew then God had to take control even more – but we did not fear – Rob and I had already seen him do so many miracles in this bubs life and mine already we knew He had plans for this bub.
We already knew it was a boy and God clearly then gave us the name Hezekiah – meaning God will strengthen or God is my strength (exactly what would need to happen for him to make it) and his middle name – Jabari meaning Courageous, fearless or brave.... something we could already tell our little man was.... and we had to be as well.... and Situma after rob’s late father.
It also happened to mean PEACE – peace....... that only God could give......

God was certainly writing our little man’s story.

And amongst the next stages of the pregnancy - journeying much of it while apart in two different countries – there were many lows.... my normal medical condition was causing a lot of havoc on my weak body and endocrine system and the swinging uterus continued to cause incredible pain. 

Dr’s appointments, scans, and medications increased as each week went on. 

By the time my beloved did arrive in Australia we made it to 28 weeks – but I was literally feeling like a walking zombie so heavily medicated.

But before then there was one more miracle – at about 20 weeks at a scan in Australia they sat me down and told me bub was measuring 6 weeks behind – they believed this was because of the stress of my pain and the constant swinging of the uterus... my poor baby was suffering from in utero stress.

It was feeling mummy’s pain and stress....hence the need to weigh up option of negative side effects of heavy medication against the baby not growing from the stress of the pain.

It was decided the side effects of heavy med’s and the months of drug withdrawals it would mean for bub and me... was worth it to try and get bub to grow.

At 32 weeks they gave me steroids – bub wasn’t growing – they said he was still only about a 26 week baby and we needed him to grow and for more miracles.

We prayed – at 34 weeks he had grown some but they didn’t want to deliver yet so had more steroids – by 36 week I had spent a large portion of the past 6 weeks in and out of hospital with too many complications to name and they could see I couldn’t go any longer.

We had more steroids and prayed for a miracle that he had grown.

And on the 30^th of April our little man was born a month early (8 weeks further along than they thought possible!) and he cried and was a decent 2.6kgs..... he had almost doubled in weight in those few weeks!!

God had done another miracle.

We celebrated and enjoyed those first hours with him in our arms... he didn’t even go straight to nicu as they had warned.

The journey was about to get more difficult though not just for Hezekiah but for mummy too – and for daddy ....... the hospital journey.... the withdrawals.... the not feeding and constant weight loss... mummy’s funny turns, where the red button was pressed and staff from all over rushed in and pushed rob out of the way as they tried to work out what was happening to me.... I'll never forget the look in Rob's eyes and him mouthing - "don't leave me"... this happened a number of times over those first few days.
The agonising pain of recovery...... Rob sleeping beside me helping the nurses to care for me and those long cold walks every three hours as he would help me pump and then walk through the dark corridors up to nicu to try and feed Hezekiah who was only losing weight...... then the joy of having him finally released from NICU and sleeping in with us, which then turned to fear again when as Rob held him he became unresponsive - Robbed buzzed for the Dr and he was rushed back up into NICU– 

Watching my little man struggle with medication withdrawals – all while I was barely able to hold him for long because of the way my body copes with pain and surgery.... made for a horrible 2 week hospital stay and months of recovery.

And that was before we even began the real withdrawal process of ziah and I both coming off the medications which took many months and was extremely hard.

I hid a lot of the pain of what it did to me physically but also emotionally – only I knew what it meant when ziah cried that way or moved that way – I knew how his body was feeling...how the withdrawals were affecting him... I knew because I was feeling it too.... it was a hard time....

But we constantly felt the presence of God and were surrounded by the most amazing family and friends.... and Dr’s – and midwifes and nurses – all along the way God put incredible people to remind us of all the milestones we’d made – all the miracles we’d seen God do.

Never again will we question does God still do miracles...... all we need to do is look at our little man.... all we need to do is STOP and think back over the countless miracles he did in those 9 months and then 9 months of recovery..... more miracles then I’ve even written here....

He is a good good God..... and the miracles of Hezekiah’s life have caused us – to see more clearly the miracles God does every single day!!

There are miracles all around us – if only we stopped to take them in.